Six Weeks: So Vocal!

This past Thursday, Lucas hit the six week mark. Every week I am in awe at how fast the time goes and how much he changes. And how BIG he is getting. We are officially out of newborn clothes (aside from a couple of cute things that I still squeeze him into because I can't bare to put them away yet!) and growing every day.

Six Week
He has also become so much more vocal than last week. Last week we started to see the cute little coo's in more volume, but this week he has been a little chatterbox. We've heard a couple of beginnings to laughter, but nothing that I would consider his first laugh yet. He also hates tummy time. We don't last more than a couple of minutes before he starts an all out fit. Needless to say, I think we're a little behind in that aspect. But his head control is amazing, and has been since early on. He'll make up for it.

Lucas also looks more and more like a little boy every single day. Not that there was any doubt that he was definitely a boy (you know what I mean!) but his growth is changing everything. And sometimes I look at him and just think, wow, where did my newborn baby go? I know I'm a little biased, but I happen to think I have a pretty darn cute baby, and every day he surprises me with a new look or a new action. He's growing way too fast. 

The dogs, I think, have finally accepted that Lucas is here to stay. Lucas is definitely much more curious of them than they are of him, for the most part. They are cautious of him on some days, and protective on others. And, every once in a while, they sneak in the occasional lick when we can't shoo them away quick enough. But they are all such loving dogs and a huge part of our little family. Neither of us can wait for the day when Lucas is up and running around, old enough to really play with them. In a weird way, it is something that we are really looking forward to. Our dogs were (and still are) like our children for the longest time. We're happy to be bringing both those worlds together.

Tomorrow, Lucas & I head to Seattle for a week to visit family & friends, so that everyone can meet the little guy and see what an adorable kid we have. I'm nervous about the trip because we are doing it solo, and I have a lot of logistics to work out. M isn't able to get the time off work, hence just the two of us going out there, but I'm hoping that it will be smooth flying for us. I'm not so much worried about Lucas on the flights, because he is a pretty easy kid and as long as I keep him fed he will be happy. I'm going with a "whatever happens happens" attitude, and hoping that people will be sympathetic to me being solo. Although Lucas is a generally mild mannered kid, and I don't think we will have any major issues. At least, my fingers are crossed. But wish me luck. We will definitely need it! I am looking forward to the family time, as this will probably be our last vacation before Christmas.

Have a great weekend!

Five Weeks: All Smiles

What a change this past week has been with the nugget! Holy cow! For the past two weeks, Lucas and I were solo as Daddy was out in the field for some Army training. With no help, we were left to figure thing out on our own, and I will admit, it was kind of nice. It also means that this little man is turning into a serious Mama's Boy, much to M's dismay!

But this week has been all about the smiles! Lucas has finally figured out how to smile on his own, with out the help of his little farts to do the work, and it has become so easy to get that big, cheesy grin from him! In fact, aside from the morning snuggles, getting this guy to smile has become my favorite thing to do. Seeing that big grin first thing in the morning, when he sees me to come pick him up, makes my heart melt a million different ways.

But now that M is back home this week, I've been doing my best to let him handle more situations. Since we've been on our own the past two weeks, we've gotten a pretty good routine down. I know his cries, and his timeline, and essentially, what he needs at any given point during the day. M does not, not that it's his fault. I spent 24/7 with the kid so it only makes sense that Mama Knows Best! But Dad needs to figure it out, too, no matter how hard it is to hear him cry when I know exactly how to rock him/sooth him/hold him to make him feel better. It's a learning process for him, and I need to not let my anxiety get the best of me in those situations. As much as I say that I could use some alone time during the day, when it comes down to it, I love this little guy so much ... I really don't want to let him out of my arms!

He is also growing SO MUCH. He is no longer my tiny little baby we brought home from the hospital. I had to accept the fact that we were moving to a bigger diaper this week, and some of his pajamas's and little pants are getting a tad snug. He's still in newborn size onesies, but we've had to break out the 0-3 month clothes for some other things. It makes me sad that he is already growing so fast. I want him to stay little forever! But Lucas eats like a horse! We cannot put enough food into his belly, which doesn't help my supply issues as he is gradually getting more formula than boob juice, but we are lucky he is such a good eater.

His schedule has also become a little more predictable. His days are still a little varied, and one day can be completely different than the next, but he seems to be falling asleep around 8:00 every night. Aside from a couple quick wakeups for some food (once around 10:30 and again around 2:30) he sleeps very soundly through the night, and we are both up and starting our day around 7:00 am. Because he is such a sound sleeper and is typically very quiet, I'm sleeping pretty hard in those four hour stretches (or so). So with that, I am feeling pretty good these days. Although not as good as I'm sure I will feel when he first sleeps through the night. Of course, it's not all roses and rainbows, but most of the time, it is. I really have no complaints about this kid.

Aside from almost daily walks, there still isn't a lot of physical activity on my part, but I am looking forward to changing that this week. I am going to start working out on a daily basis, thanks to some long walks planned and some home workouts that won't take up too much time. I'm still taking it easy, but I am itching to get into shape and lose some more weight. I'm lucky that I didn't gain much during my pregnancy, and am weighing less than I did when I got pregnant, but I'm still feeling blah. At five weeks post partum, I'm looking forward to being a little more active. I'm stir crazy at the house and feeling antsy, so hopefully this will ease some of that for me and make me feel a little better.

All in all, things are pretty good these days. My maternity leave is half over, and while I am looking forward to going back to work in June, I can't imagine leaving this guy. I'm preparing for it, but getting in all the snuggles I can. We have a trip to Seattle in the very near future to visit family & friends, so I am looking forward to that as well. I can't wait to see how this kid changes in the coming weeks!

Three Weeks & Still Learning

I had every intention of being one of those savvy bloggers who has the time to keep up with baby updates. The original plan was to do once a week for the first month, and then monthly after that. I have already missed the second week, so yay me! BUT, I am posting for week three. So, high five to me for that.

So! Three weeks! I have been peed on more times than I can count in the past three weeks! And Lucas' personality is starting to come through. He is, for the most part, a very easy baby. Aside from the usual fussiness that comes along with a three week old [I'm hungry. I need a new diaper. I'm tired.] is a very chill baby. He is smiling often [although I know at this point, we can thank the gas] and when he is really content, he has started to make some seriously adorable cooing noises. He hates tummy time, but his head movement is stellar for being only three weeks old, so we keep practicing. Aside from some rough times last week when Kim was here, thanks to some gassiness issues, he has been sleeping like a champ during the night, sleeping completely between feedings. Knock on wood.


Our big thing this week is to start working on some sort of routine. It's still difficult because of his sporadic schedule and the fact that we live in two to three hour increments, but we're slowly but surely getting there. We're also trying to get out of the house at least once a day, whether that's for a walk around the neighborhood, visiting some friends, or running errands. It's good for my sanity to get out [and, you know, get dressed in something other than sweats] and good for the little man to experience the world a bit.

He also is much more alert during the day, not instantly falling asleep after his bottle, which is great for some one on one mommy/Lucas time. Finding ways to stimulate a three week old while he's awake is difficult, but we sing songs, read books, and play. Again, seeing his personality start to come out has been so wonderful.

As for me, the post-partum healing continues. Aside from being sore the first couple of weeks, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had lost all of my baby weight by the end of week one, and continued to drop another 10 pounds in week two [losing 28 pounds total in those two weeks. I only gained 18 pounds total during my pregnancy.]. I've hit a stand still for now [which is fine, I'm not concerned about the weight loss just yet]. Any sort of cardio is still a couple of weeks away, but I think I was so used to seeing myself pregnant for so long that I felt so great about myself in those first two weeks. But this week I've just felt saggy and flabby.

Either way, we are getting there. Being a mother is so very hard. But I am so grateful every single day for this opportunity. I love this little guy more than words can express and we are so blessed to have him in our lives. Plus, he doesn't care if I don't dry my hair or put on makeup. As long as he gets his mommy snuggles, this guy is happy.

Life These Days

Last week, my best friend, Kim, flew out from Seattle to spend some time with our little family. I can most definitely say that it was much, MUCH needed on my part to have her here. We have, for the most part, been figuring out this whole parenting thing solo, as all of our family lives on the west coast. We have had offers from friends for various things, but most involve just coming over to see the baby so I can nap or shower. Again, both wonderful things, but I'm not quite to the point yet where I'm ready to leave the kiddo in the hands of friends, even if it does mean that I get to snooze for an hour in the same house [plus, I can do that when baby sleeps!].

But having Kim here was different. Her baby is seven and a half months old so the few days here was a nice vacation for her, but she was also an unbelievable help to me both physically and emotionally. When she wasn't washing bottles, buying groceries & making coffee [despite me telling her not to] she was convincing me that I was doing everything right, even when Lucas was so gassy that he didn't stop screaming for two hours, leaving both of us [Lucas & I] in tears. And when I just needed to cry because the baby blues are kicking my ass something fierce, she sat there and listened. There is something about a best friend that brings emotional support that nobody else can provide, not to mention the fact that she had very recently gone through everything that I was going through. I love our friends here, but I can't talk to people the way I can talk to Kim. I think this just naturally comes with 20 years of friendship. And, you know, the whole best friend thing.

The Bestie! Love her so very much!

But more than anything, it was just SO NICE to have her here. Our relationship is so unlike any other. It's weird. And I wish every day that we lived closer together because life is just so much more fun with her around. I'm convinced that we wouldn't need anybody else if we lived close to each other again. [You know, aside from our husbands & children!] So it meant so much to me that she was able to come out and share this time with us. And again, she was such amazing help! I love her dearly & I can't wait for our boys to meet each other in May when Lucas & I fly to Seattle for a week.

Aside from that, this whole parenting things is fucking HARD. They tell you before the kid comes that it's difficult and that it will change your life. But I don't think anything really prepared me for EXACTLY how hard this all is. There are some really amazing times, where I look at this kid and am in total awe of what M & I were able to create. He's so perfect and wonderful, and the love we both have for him is unreal. But holy shit. There are times where I think, I have no fucking clue what I am doing. I second guess everything that I do, wondering if it's the right thing. Am I feeding him enough? Am I bad mom because we're not breast feeding right now and I'm only pumping at this point? [a different post for a different day]. Have I held him enough today or did I put him down and in the pack and play for too long? Is he going to get sick if I leave the house for a little while? Is he too warm? Too cold? Did I let him sleep too long in between feeding sessions just because I wanted an extra 30 minutes of sleep? Questions after questions after questions of trying to figure it all out.

And when the pure exhaustion hits, that's when the baby blues are at their worst. I feel like things are getting a little better on that aspect ... there definitely are not as many tears as there were in the beginning ... but some days I just feel so lost and helpless that I can't help but lose it. It's frustrating to feel like this and it makes me feel HORRIBLE for crying over something that we wanted for so long. The emotions are so random and extensive. But, I'm fighting them and hoping that with time, things get easier.

Plus, this little guy? He really is worth it in the long run. That run is exhausting, but he is worth every second.

One Week

It's hard to believe that one week has passed since the birth of our little peanut. Where did the time go? I can't believe that we have survived the first week of having this guy in our lives. While there have been so many challenges and times when things have been so frustrating I end up in tears, I wouldn't trade any of this for anything. Lucas is nothing short of a miracle in our lives and while adjusting has been hard, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love snuggling with my baby every chance I can get and kiss his perfect little cheeks no less than 1,000 times a day. And his sad little cry when he starts to get upset? It breaks my heart every single time. The hormones have been the hardest thing to battle, sending me into fits of tears at the drop of ANYTHING. Most of the time, they are happy tears, because I truly cannot believe how wonderful this all is. But basically, I am a hormonal disaster, good and bad, but dealing with it every day!

Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding has been a challenge, to say the least. We did OK the first couple of days in the hospital, with some help from an amazing lactation team. That streak continued the first night home. We were having good sessions where he would latch and hold on for a good amount of time. Then day two came, and it all went downhill from there. Nursing sessions became a struggle for both of us, and there were often tears on both ends. It got to the point one day where we had been fighting to nurse for so long, that I gave up and gave him some formula. I wasn't proud, but the kid needed to eat and at that point, I didn't care where it came from. I then called and set up an appointment with one of the lactation consultants at the hospital so that we could get some help.

What we found out was that we weren't necessarily doing anything wrong. There were some basics changes that needed to be made [the way I held the baby, positioning, etc] but after doing a normal nursing session with the consultant, we weighed him on their fancy scale [we also weighed him before hand] and realized that he was, basically, not getting any milk. Like, at all. The LC then noticed that his frenulum [the little flap of skin attached to the underside of your tongue] was way too short and that this is what was likely causing us all of our issues. So, a referral was put in, and tomorrow afternoon we go to get that little thing snipped. Hopefully, all will go well and the peanut and I can get back on track to a healthy nursing regiment. In the mean time, we have continued with our nursing sessions to keep up the practice, but I am also pumping & supplementing at every feeding. My supply is not great due to only pumping so I am looking into starting some herbs to hopefully help with the supply as well as starting a stock pile, since I go back to work in 9 weeks.

Sleeping
Sleeping has been good. This kid sleeps round the clock, to the point where I am constantly checking books and websites to make sure that he isn't sleeping TOO much. But I am quick to remind myself that he is only a few days old and that this is normal. The first couple of nights were rough because a) he was constantly hungry [for obvious reasons!] and b] we don't think the bassinet we have in our room is working out very well. Because he has been getting more food through supplementation [both breast and formula to fill in the gaps for now] he is sleeping for better stretches at night, i.e. a normal three hour stretch vs. up every hour like he was when we first came home. We have also resorted to putting him in the swing at night in our bedroom which is also helping out tremendously. He loves his pack and play sleeper, but we keep that out in the living room since we are there most of the day.

For me, the best part about sleeping has been the ability to SLEEP ON MY STOMACH. Oh man, I missed this so much. The three hour stretches I sleep at night are far better for me than any stretch I got while pregnant, simply due to the fact that I am more comfortable. Stomach sleeping = best. thing. ever.

One Week Post-Partum 
I am, for the  most part, feeling pretty good. The long labor took a lot out of me the first couple of days, and I am still very sore from some of the complications. One week after delivering Lucas, however, I am down to my pre-pregnancy weight, having lost 20 pounds so far. I am pretty happy with this milestone, and am looking forward to getting the OK to start working out again [but will say that those 20 pounds came off all on their own, through delivery, breastfeeding/pumping and my body doing it's natural thing. I have done nothing this week besides a couple of walks and staring at the kiddo!] But for right now I am focusing on eating well, staying hydrated and recovering as best we can. The walks that we have gone on have been slightly strenuous but will get easier with time. Anything more than that is just a glimmer in my eye at this point.

I need to do his newborn photos but this week has been busy with appointments galore. My plan is to do them this weekend while he's still so squishy and soft, and when we have a little more time. It's hard trying to fit them into our schedule when he is eating every two to three hours. But I can't wait for all the things I want to try and hopefully they will turn out great.

Thank you to everyone for all the support that I received both here and via twitter. This week has flown by, and I know that it's just going to go by quicker. We are both so blessed and so happy to have this new addition in our family!